memories ♥

in every wound there will be a scar ,
and every scar tells a story ,
a story that says 'i survived'

every now and then i'll be taken back to the past in a time machine and there is when the WAR starts .
time had pass and things had already change , but in my mind the memories stay .
i don't understand .. it had already been MONTHSSS after that incident .. why is the pain still there ?
why do i still feel the pain ? the fear ? the .. the .. haih ..
i did accept the fact , i did try to let it go , i did try to forget but why is it still hunting me down ?
i really wish to look back to the past with a smile on my face .. but now ? i didnt know looking back was that painful >3

i'm sick and tired of being disturbed by all these scary feelings .. i had enough !
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. i cant let them ruin my life anymore~!
is it time to stand up and fight for myself .. I WANT MY LIFE BACK !
i had enough of :
- nights where i cry myself to sleep =="
- faking a smile, where ever i go
- lying to myself that i am okay, but i never was
- feeling that indescribable PAIN
- scary thoughts
- emo-ing
- more ..

life is a choice .. and i choose to STOP and END this !!
i cant bear this any longer ..
i'm tired .. physically , emotionally and mentally ..
give me a break .. and SHUT UP stupid thoughts!
i'm 16 and i wanna enjoy my life .. !!!
you have no authority over my life !!!
so get out and get lost from my life !!!!!!!!

A scar that tells ' i survived ' ..

A breath away ..

Life is a story which starts with a breath and ends with a breath too. Death is just a breath away. So live life in a right way.
♥

Love those who loves you,

Love those who cares for you,

Love those who hates you,

Love those who criticizes you,

Love those who curses you,

Love your enemy as yourself. =)

c'mon its time to wake up ♥

Dear blog,
i guess it is time to wake up and face the real world.
i am aware what's going on with me ..
but i chose the wrong way to overcome it ..
i was afraid to accept the fact, or had already accepted the fact but held on tight to it and didn't want to let go ..

it is tough, asking yourself to accept some things or let go of the things that affected you so much ..
seriously, these need time to heal .. *mending process*

so .. i told myself that enough is enough ..
i cant go on making myself and the love ones around me sad anymore ..
i cant bear the fact that i am the cause of their unhappiness .. i rather DIE x_x
there's one principle in my life .. that is .. MAKE OTHERS HAPPY ♥ =)

oh yeah~ back to the point .. sooooo .. yeah ..
i decided to stop being such a coward ..
c'mon i'm ALREADY 16 .. i'm mature enough to think ! ;)
FYI,
you cant make the whole world happy Trina .. at least you tried making them happy ..
remember that life is a story .. and you have no right to write their story .. it is their right to end their story with a happy ending or a sad ending ..

note to self :

you've done what you can do, good job [:







wishing everyone to be happy always.
remember, we've only ONE life in this world.
cherish it and make it worth living.
♥ y'all

fairytale ♥

Can i pretend that my life is just a fairytale ??
That, my life is just a story and its never real ..

I asked myself once,
Why among all the HUMAN BEING on this earth, i was chosen to come to this earth??
Why was it me, who came out from my mother's womb?? why?? .__.

nobody in this world is numb,
everyone can feel pain.
it's just that some are really good
when it comes to
PRETENDING.

nobody knows ♥

dear blog,
these few days were like hell to me.
there's so many things in my head until i don't know what and where to start from.
sigh..
feeling so afraid, feeling so scared, feeling so sad, feel like crying every time i think of it .. =(
what's wrong? emotional break down..? i guess so..?
there's lots of questions in my head, but there's no answers.
will they be answered one day? sighs ..

people say frowning uses more energy than smiling, but did they tell you that smiling when you're sad uses even more energy .. =)

i swallowed my tears, i hid my feelings away, i faked a smile, i lied, telling myself that i am okay and everything will be fine.
suddenly i feel that i'm in a world where there's nobody but me.
alone .. tired of thinking, tired of crying, tired of being sad ..

i really wish that 'he' is by my side right now.
although he can't help, but at least i can be comforted in his arms, he can make every sec being with him..happy, he can put a smile on my face and make me feel better.

sighs..
i guess, nobody can help me huh? i know there's one - Jesus. But ... haih~

it is true .. nobody understands .. no one fully does ..